Part V:
Recently it was made public by the local newspaper who this Blog Series is about.
This will be the last and final entry of this five-part series as, although, I do not believe this story is over for the other parties involved, it is over for me. I feel I have done everything I am capable of doing in regard to my responsibility to share the truth with my community and anyone else willing to listen.
Sharing this part of my life was not an easy thing to do. It was a decision made after a lot of thought, consideration, & conversation with those closest to me. Speaking out the first time was one of the most difficult times of my life &, frankly, I anticipated much of the same outcome this second time around.
For everyone who has supported me, privately & publicly, thank you. I know exactly how difficult it can be to voice your opinion on such topics and I’m sure there have been times you’ve received some form of negativity in doing so. For all of you who have been encouraging, loving, & not only taken the time out of your days to follow my story, but also gone the extra mile to reach out to me personally, I appreciate you. For all of you who have introduced yourselves and done things like embraced me with a sincere hug in the middle of a Fred Meyer grocery aisle, thank you. For all of you parents out there who have expressed your gratitude… nothing has picked me up or driven me more than those reminders. And, lastly, to all of the other victims of far more serious crimes done to you by this man, especially those who have reached out to me and entrusted in me your own stories of abuse; I hope you now feel even just a little satisfaction today.I so wish I could have done you the justice you all deserve. Absolutely no child, no matter their age, their home life, their physical appearance… should EVER be taken advantage off, groomed, targeted, manipulated and abused the way you each were. It is NOT your fault & I want each of you to always know I am here to listen & support you however I can. Know that you are not alone & know that if you ever choose to tell your story publicly, there are an incredible amount of people who will be nothing but supportive of you.
To all of you who have followed my story up to this point, but do not support me; I can’t imagine what it must be like for you to have to seek out this blog each and every week and be forced to read things you find to be so incredibly unfair and inappropriate of me to write about. I admire your resilience and willpower. So, while I have you here, I’d like for you to grant me just one more favor…
Let’s just pretend, for a moment, that this incidence is in fact the one and only time this man has made a “mistake” in his many years employed by Scappoose School District. And while we have our imagination really stretched out here, let’s also pretend I am your daughter. If you don’t have a daughter, it’s ok, if you were able to imagine that first one you have proven the mental acrobat required to believe everything that follows. You got this. Still with me? Ok, now let’s pretend your daughter is in middle school & she receives private messages, frequently, at all hours of the day and night, on all days of the week, rarely, if ever, regarding her education or athletics, but instead almost always in regards to her personal life, her home life, his personal life & his relationship with an adult woman. Fast forward a year or two and let’s pretend your daughter now also receives text messages at all hours of the day (including while in class) and night, all days of the week, rarely if ever in regards to her education or athletics, but instead things like random statements such as, and I quote, “It’s a sledgehammer.” And let’s pretend that the first time your daughter receives a message of this nature she asks him what it means and he refuses to answer and when he sends it a second time, a week later, he finally claims it’s a line from a movie…. whoa whoa whoa, let’s stay focused… we’re not going to let our imagination wander off into what kind of movie that could possibly be from… stay with me. Ok now let’s pretend your daughter is a junior in high school and this same man has told her that while she is actually enrolled in his weight lifting class, she doesn’t have to dress down & participate in the activities the other students are doing, but instead she can just act as his assistant… as long as she still shows up every day… and still receive the same class credit and passing grade she needs. And while your daughter is in this class, he decides to secretly take a very zoomed in image from eight track lanes away of literally just her breasts. Now let’s just pretend he decides to secretly email this image to himself without your daughter’s knowledge or permission to then later view said image in the privacy of his own home or office…. whoa whoa whoa, again, let’s not let our imagination wander too far with that one either.
Ok, NOW, can you honestly tell me that you would still be standing here offended by my decision to speak out and would still choose to stand up for him and his actions? If still yes, well, then I guess we should all just be very grateful you do not actually have a daughter… and if you do have a daughter, lucky enough not to be “like me”, then I guess all I can do for you at this point is assure you that girls with ignorant parents like yourself who do not support and empower their daughters to use their voice with confidence, are precisely the types of girls this man, and a disgusting amount of men like him, seek out and groom until they get what they want.
“Find echoes of another person in yourself.” – unknown