Part IV:
(If you haven’t yet, read Part I, Part II, Part III)
I find myself at my locker practically wanting to crawl into it and hide… it’s been a long week.
But, I’m proud of myself. I’ve nearly made it the entire week without leaving in the middle of the day. Despite frequent, daily urges; like when I had to remind them to transfer me out of his class before he returned (apparently they were so busy worrying about making sure he felt all warm and fuzzy upon his grand return that they forgot about my state of comfort), or every single time I see him walking the halls again, clearly gaining his confidence back a little more each day. Despite all of the rumors floating around and questions being asked constantly. And all of the tasteless jokes.
In every onset of fight or flight… I’ve fought. I’ve stayed.
I’ve had to tell the story countless times… to the school admin, my parents, the school counselor, other teachers, my coaches, the police, my friends, my friends’ parents… over and over.
I am completely and thoroughly mentally exhausted.
My family has met with the Superintendent, school admin and “him”, as well as the police and attorneys. They’ve gained access to his teaching records and filed a claim to the Oregon Government Ethics Commission so that my name can be added to his file. Apparently, I am not the only underaged girl on his record… and this incident happens to pale in comparison to the others.
Wasn’t a club I envisioned myself being a part of, but… here I am.
Most of the time I wish I would have just kept my mouth shut. It’s only made me feel like everyone I thought I could trust, I can’t and also put me smack dab under the spotlight, which I don’t want any part of… and to top it all off, it doesn’t seem to be effecting him or his job so, really, what was the point…
I’m just focused on getting through the rest of this year and then I’m done. I told Mom I’m graduating early and, under the circumstances, she didn’t argue… although I know it breaks her heart.
Admin isn’t arguing either. Pretty sure they want me out of here just as much.
to be continued… Part V
It was admitted to me that if the same exact incident happened between two teachers instead of between a teacher & a student… the outcome would have been far different. Apparently, he would have been fired for sexual harassment had he done the same to another teacher, because the teachers union protects teachers, not students.
When I was debating whether or not to write this story, I was leaning towards not. Mostly, because I can see how reading this could actually be more discouraging for someone who hasn’t spoken out rather than encouraging. It’s pretty much every victim’s cause for hesitation; the fear of not feeling heard, or believed, or not receiving any kind of justice… or worse, receiving backlash instead. It gave me pause, but I’m glad I decided to take a chance anyways.
Since writing this story I’ve had multiple women come forward to share their own stories and experiences with this exact same teacher.
After reading my story, they instantly knew who he was, despite leaving him nameless.
There is more than one woman who claims they had sexual encounters with this man when they were students and he their teacher.
Others share countless stories of feeling uncomfortable or groomed. Numerous instances of him being inappropriate. Things like sending late night text messages or in-depth private conversations that most would not deem appropriate for a student-teacher relationship.
When I was in middle school, I would receive late night messages from him via MSN Messenger. He was my basketball coach at the time. He would ask a lot of personal questions about my family and home life. He gained knowledge of my history and would go out of his way to make me feel as if we were friends and I could trust him and confide in him. He would also share personal things about his own life and his adult relationship.
As a young teenage girl, I found him to be funny and kind. I would have described him as a good listener, understanding, caring and non-judgmental. As an adult I understand this was actually a very strategic and rigorous grooming.
Part V of this story will be written when/if this man is ever fired. Part V will be my closure. Until then, this story remains “continued”.
In the meantime:
Dear Prick, I know you’re reading this, and I know you’ve read every word leading up to this. So, while I have you here, you should know, you do not have a true friend in this town. I have heard, firsthand, nearly every single person around you talk shit about you, laugh at you, and/or speak in disgust of you. I know the vast majority act like they’re your friend to your face; either because you’re in a position of power or because they don’t want to waste their energy trudging through your bullshit… but don’t be fooled, everyone knows you’re a tool.